Self discovery Why does it have to be so hard
by Hannah1796
Summary: Kol is 15 and has recently discovered that he is attracted to men which brings him to feel all kinds of confusing emotions


_It was a warm sunny day in the village kol was sitting at the lake with his friends Erik and Louis who had been talking about girls but kol wasn't really interested in that subject he doesn't know why it kinda worried him he was only 15 maybe girls wasn't his thing yet though most boys start liking girls when they are 11 or younger but kol was different he felt different he didn't know what it was but something wasn't normal with him he always thought he never told anyone about What's going on he figured no one would understand especially his two friends he just kept these thoughts in a pit inside of him burying it deep inside_

Kol do You have any girls you fancy yet? Asked Erik

Uh not really I don't think I really have time for girls it's really gonna be a busy time this year says Kol

 _Erik and Louis exchanged looks wondering what was going on with Kol_

Kol are you into men? Asks Louis

 _Erik then nudged his arm as in he wasn't suppose to ask him right out like that but I guess it was a good question_

What? What the bloody hell are you talking about! Yells Kol

It's just you've never liked a girl in your entire life kol and we're just wondering it's ok to us if you are says Erik

 _Kol felt a knot in his stomach after hearing the words asking if he was into men it's true he has had little crushes on boys when he was younger mostly friends of nik or Elijah_

 _Kol didn't like talking about it though he just thought it was little nothings so he didn't worry about it that much he was now thinking to much about it_

I have to go I'll see you guys tomorrow says Kol as he got up and starting walking home

 _Kol was really starting to get aggravated with his mind right now with the whole not into girls thing he just wanted to go home go to bed and forget all about this and have a regular day in the morning_

Kol! Can you come Here please?

Yells Esther

 _Great now he had to talk to mother he thought as he sighed as he went into his hut_

Yes mother? He replied

Kol i think you and I should have a talk she says in a serious tone

Alright then he says as he pulls out a chair and sits

Ok look Kol now that you're older I think it's time you know about what's going on with your body now I know you know some things already since I'm sure your friends have told you stuff about it and I know your father has told you about some of this stuff early in your life but now I think you should know about what's actually going to happen like your gonna have all kinds of feelings and their new and interesting and I know some of those feelings will be (sighs) sexual feelings

 _Kol then grew uncomfortable after hearing his mother mention sex_

Like say you see or think about a girl you like you will get an erection which makes your man hood hard now I know you've probably had some already right?

 _Kol then blushed he was embarrassed and worried cause now that he thinks about it he actually did get aroused before by one of nik's friend's who had been shirtless and sweaty from chopping wood with nik_

 _Kol was 14 when that happend his face was now turning pale white and he grew a frown_

Kolly sweety are you okay? Asks Esther worried she then touched his forehead for a fever but there was nothing there

Kol would you please tell me what's wrong? Asks Esther again in a stern tone this time

 _Kol then looked at his mother snapping out of it_

Um look mother I would like to stay and talk some more but I would like to head off to bed says Kol

Ok but let me know if you need anything says Esther

 _As Kol got up and walked to his room Esther grew worried she's never seen her son act this way and she wanted to know what was going on_

 _Kol shut his door behind him and sat on his bed worried and scared plus confused was he into men? He thought he really wished he could've told his mother about this but she would probably be mad or tell mikael which would beat him if he found out his son was feeling things for men_

 _Kol didn't know what to do there wasn't any other boys like him in the village so he didn't have anyone to talk to while Kol was thinking he then heard someone talking he got up and peeped outside his door nik was home and he brought home his friend Keith kol's heart began to race he always had a thing for Keith he was good looking charming had nice dark hair beautiful Brown eyes he was perfect_

 _Kol continued to look and grew a smile on his face All of a sudden Keith looked over noticing Kol watching_

 _Kol gasped and pulled away from the door maybe he didn't see me he thought_

 _Soon enough the older boy had came to kol's door knocking on it yelling kol's name_

Kol? You in there asks Keith

 _Kol just stood there trying not to make a sound his heartbeat increased his palms began to sweat he was scared Keith might come in here which wouldn't be a big deal if Kol didn't have a thing for him_


End file.
